30 Ways To Make Naruto Excessively Pissed
by HarvestMoonRacoon
Summary: The kitsune child gets a taste of his own medicine, insomniac racoon style.


**Author's Note: Someone personally PMed me and requested that I annoy Naruto. Trust me, people, that is the way to get me to do a story on a specific character. I should have "Email Whore" tattooed on my forehead, because I love getting reviews, Pms (NOT PMS. Pms. Private Messages. Not Pre Menstrual Syndrome.), New Story Alerts, New Chapter Alerts- Yeah.**

**This one dedicated to that person, who's name I cannot remember at this time. Now knock yourselves out, everybody.**

**And, oh yeah. Remember in "30 Ways To Drive Sakura Up The Wall", how I told you that everytime somebody reviewed positively, I got to whack my cousin? Well, poor Trent has a lump on his head and a bald spot from all the bitch-slaps he received to his skull. Just so ya'll know. Thank you so much. XD**

30 Ways To Make Naruto Quite Pissed

1. Put a dead lizard in his ramen.

2. Frequently act out the role of Igor and Quasimodo's love child when you are in public together.

3. Loose an angry mongoose into his pants.

4. Lick his toads when he summons them.

5. Knock him out and hang him by his toes in front of the Ichiraku Ramen Stand.

6. Put his frog wallet in the blender.

7. Hit "puree".

8. Declare capturing Daddy Long Legs your newest hobby, and make it a point to act like a wacked-out environmentalist each time you spot one and give chase to the poor insect.

9. Place a jelly donut on the table while he is eating breakfast, and consequently, is half-asleep. Wait a few seconds, before slamming your fist onto the end of the donut nearest to you.

10. Tie a string of baked potatoes to the back of his jacket and see how long it takes for him to notice it.

11. Perform a cannibalistic ritual in his living room involving a lock of Sakura's hair and a frightened sheep. When he asks you what the hell you're doing, glare at him and curse in Latin.

12. Declare today "Pirate Impersonation Day", and go through the motions of being a Long John Silver impersonator.

13. Fling an angry baby monkey at him when he walks through his front door.

14. Change his earpiece radio's F.M. to a country oldies station.

15. Chant monk mantras and swing a censer of the foulest smelling incense you can find while he's trying to watch television.

16. Sew the legs of every pair of pants he owns together.

17. Put Gorilla Glue on the earpiece of his telephone.

18. Cut the heads off of every living thing you see in magazines.

19. Bake him a batch of brownies, substituting potting soil for the chocolate.

20. Empty a jar of non-poisonous spiders into his underwear drawer.

21. Label everything in his home with Post-It notes with the words "MINE!" scrawled on them.

22. Place a bag of maxi-pads in his backpack when he goes on a mission.

23. Spike his canteen with Viagra.

24. Drop Rock Lee onto him when we walks into a room.

25. Replace every pair of underwear he owns with lacy lingerie.

26. Use your imagination and a live trout to make his entire day miserable.

27. Hug him.

28. Tightly.

29. Soak his underwear in meat, and lead him past the Inuzuka household.

30. Send a letter to Kisame declaring Naruto's undying and extremely lust-driven desires, and sign it with our favorite Uzumaki's name.

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**Naruto's Reaction**:

"GAAAAAAAHHHH!" the kitsune imp screeched, before face-vaulting into a shoujo background of purple sweat drops.

Sakura, who had been leaning over his shoulder to read the fan fiction, blinked a few times, before bursting into uncontrollable laughter as Naruto writhed on the floor.

Stepping over him as he rolled at her feet, swirly-eyed and clutching his groin, Naruto's pink-haired teammate jabbed a finger at the ways of annoying.

"How the **hell **did this girl come up with these things?" she asked to no one in particular. This kid was an absolute genius. Who had enough brain capacity to think of all these surprisingly easy and absolutely hilarious ways to make her teammate annoyed? It was a stroke of genius. And yet, she wondered-

Clicking the link for the author's profile, she scanned down the list to "Story Progresses", searching until she reached the upcoming "30 Ways" projects that were soon to be released to her reader's viewing.

"- Temari, Gai-sensei, and- OH! Naruto! 30 Ways To Annoy Kakashi!" she exclaimed to the incoherent boy squirming at her ankles.

Grinning deviously, Sakura placed this "HarvestMoonRacoon" on Author Alert, and prayed that neither Naruto or Ino came across the story labeled "30 Ways To Drive Sakura Up The Wall".


End file.
